I have a hard time communicating feelings I have when they involve another person. I fear hurting them or them not receiving what I have to say. Sometimes I fear that by me sharing what I feel, conflict will arise. I feel like the Lord wants me to have freedom from feeling these ways.
All throughout the bible I see God and Jesus showing their emotions. They not only share the good ones, they also share the "bad" ones. God was angry with creation and how they turned away from Him, so He created a flood to wipe them out and start over. Jesus was upset with how the temple courts were being used to buy and sell, so He turned tables over and drove people out with a whip. I think God understands that I will be angry and upset, but what He does not want for me is to sin when I feel those ways and He does not want me to hold them in, for that can cause me to sin and can hurt me more than help me.
I am beginning to feel encouraged by God to share my feelings, especially the hard ones (anger, hurt, betrayal, disappointment) in relation to someone else. I do not like to tell people they hurt me, or that I felt betrayed by them or that they let me down. I normally choose silence over voicing these feelings, and I have seen the other side of holding things in. I am learning to be more open and to share the hard things, and I believe the Lord is smiling on me through it all.
My encouragement is to share what is felt when it is felt, no matter what is felt. If it is hurt, express it. If it is anger, express it, if it is disappointment, express it; but do so in love. Do so in peace.
I am also learning that my feelings are not just to be shared with those around me but also with the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 says, "cast your cares on me, because I care for you", this verse encourages me to go to the Lord with what I am feeling. I am also reminded of the book of lamentations. It is a book written with the intentions of sharing hurt and anger and disappointment with the Lord. The book of Psalm is also expresses pain and confusion, distress and anger to the Lord. How is it that David and Jeremiah and Peter could express their feelings with the Lord but I cannot?
That is the lie I have believed for a long time, but now I choose freedom.
I will leave us with a prayer,
Father, I thank you for revealing to me the importance of sharing what is on my mind. For in sharing, I am releasing any hold for the enemy to use against me. Sharing what I feel leads to freedom, clarity and understanding. I thank you for the patience you have with me and I pray I would have the same patience for myself. I thank you for encouraging me, and I pray this would encourage someone else. I pray you would help me to continue to find freedom in sharing my feelings and that you would help me to do so in love.