Falling

Arms tucked, close, near to my beating heart  faster    the rhythm matches a techno beat, rising faster and faster, teaching heads to bang. The back and forward motion of the wind causes my head to fall victim to submission, the leap was the hardest part. Deciding to come was tough,the actual jump,

knee buckling,

fear strikes my limbs, my mind jumps     lifts me off the ground, suspends me between safety and uncertainty...there is a moment, a few seconds of relief,

gravity stops pulling and pushes

Here in this moment legs fold under pressure. Too much weight applied makes legs wiggle, loose as hair floating in the sea. Head thrown back, gliding from east to west searching, for what is not seen, only felt. Experiences too surreal to explain, yet undeniably life changing,

Ground.

Feet crashing from the loss of expectancy. There is nothing willing me to continue in peace in pieces my body meets reality, the edge of the building, one step away from eternity,

breathe in, out, in, out,

of my sleeplessness.