Not Okay | It is Okay

All spilled out

Emptied and void

Taken and given in the same breath

What is left?

when the world told me to smile, i smiled. when the world told me to jump, i jumped. when family told me to be reliable, i was reliable. when friends told me to speak, i spoke. when strangers told me to be strong, i was strong. when life told me to be sad, i was happy. when anger told me to be loud, i was quiet. when hurt told me to be hurt, i was okay. when pain told me to cry, i laughed. when i was not okay, i said i was.

when asked how i am, i said fine. when found alone, i was unsure. when questioned, i said i don't know. when prodded, i said give me a minute. when i sat and thought, i found i was not okay.

there is a cry on the inside of me / begging to be set free/ free from suppression/ free from lies/ free from i don't knows/ free from me. there is a cry on the inside of me/ longing to be heard/ even if only by one who is close/ if only released in a whisper. there is a cry on the inside of me/ i want to set it free/ but what would that mean?

it is okay/ to not be okay.