my pen.

i thought i lost you.

dropped you somewhere between then and now,

there were no bread crumbs reminding me

of how far we had come. there were no

red strings, marking the path leading to pause.

there was nothing left, nothing aside from fear.

of never being good enough. fear of never

getting it right. fear of losing you forever,

i realized you never belonged to me,

you never will. this i can be certain of

and now i am content with. before me

there was you and after me there will

still be you. i may leave a mark on

someone's paper, or inspire a blank

sheet to be filled but i will never have

ownership of what does not belong

to me or to anyone. i thought i lost

you. i thought i came to the end

what i have found is i only misplaced

you in the thoughts that filled the space

you typically occupy. i thought i lost you

but i never really had you.