Silent screams echo in my mind. Help has been asked for with pleasing eyes. Assistance is beckoned through side glances and passive aggression. This is unsustainable.

How am I so loud yet withering in silence? Pain goes unseen by smiles learned to appease. Laughter stifles awkward vulnerability making small talk smooth. This is unsustainable. I. I am in need of help.

Freedom, freedom must find me. Invade my mind and arrest my thinking. I can speak. I must speak. For if who the Son sets free is free indeed, then I must be free. I need freedom to capture every learned part of me. Every unsure piece. Every inconsistent habit, missed consistently.

The righteous cry out and the Lord delivers them. Where can deliverance be found? Not in my chosen silence and avoidance to acknowledge and accept. Only in my choice to speak. Speaking with words or tears. With writing or with dancing. With praise or with lament. Silence, when held onto with all hope, is deadly. I want to live!