In the Dark

In the Dark

When it is dark outside I do not like to drive. I become anxious and drive too close to the steering wheel.

One time in particular, I was driving around 5 am and it was dark. No hint of sun in sight. I was anxious. I was two hours from home, and I was sitting close to the wheel focused. In an attempt to help me stay calm, I looked at the lines on the road as I was driving.

I did this so I could know when the road would begin to turn into a curve. When other cars were around me I would look away from the lines a little more because the lights from their cars helped illuminate the road. Occasionally there were street lights that also helped me.

As the road continued and the sun continued sleeping, I remember hearing the Lord ask me a question. He asked, "why do you need to see everything", in the moment I thought, "I need to see it all so I can remain in my lane and safe, of course". As that question played over and over in my head I came to a different answer. I needed to see everything so as not to be taken by surprise, so I could remain in control.

This answer helped me to understand a little about myself. I don't like surprises nor to be taken by surprise. I like to have a plan and to be aware of what may or may not happen.

After my more revised answer I felt the Lord offer me something else, He said, "don't worry about what you can't see; focus on what you can see", while this seems opposite of faith, "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1) or the opposite of "for we walk by faith and not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7), what I felt the Lord was said was, "You can see me. You are sure of me, and since you are sure of me, you can trust that I will allow you to get to where you need to be safely."

In a more broad sense, keeping my focus on the Lord, when I am uncertain of other things, will keep me in freedom and out of fear and anxiety. I become anxious when I am in the dark and I stop looking at Jesus and try to focus on all things, the curvature of the road, when does the curve start? I felt the Lord calling me to trust Him not just when the sun is up and I can see everything clearly but also when its dark and the only thing I can see is Him.

I am left with a few questions, is it possible that I need the dark times to come so that I can remember the light? Is it possible that in the dark, if I focus on the Lord, I will be okay? Will I be able to make it to the sunlight and to my destination if I only focus on what I can see? Is it possible that I get anxious when I loose focus on Jesus and I hyper-focus on everything else?

I will leave us with a prayer,

Father I thank you for your son Jesus Christ. I thank you for the blood He shed for me over 2,000 years ago. I thank you that you are the light of the world. I thank you that you meet me in the dark places and that the dark cannot put out your light. Father, I ask now for your peace and for safety in you. In the times when things seem dark, I ask that I would be overwhelmed by your peace and by your light. I thank you for keeping me in you. I ask for a deeper trust in you when things seem uncertain and unclear. That my focus would remain on you and not on the things around me. I pray that I would make you bigger than all other things and allow your light to be my guide in all things.

I pray and ask these thing in Jesus' name, amen.

Subscribe to Poet JRose

Don’t miss out on the latest issues. Sign up now to get access to the library of members-only issues.
[email protected]
Subscribe