The above picture is a pile of two notebooks and an unnumbered stack of poems I have written. Poems from 2010 up until recent years. Two days ago I grabbed my poetry binder to look for a poem. I opened the binder and found the bottom of the many pages wet.
I was shocked and sad. Years worth of emotions and feelings and vents in the form of poetry were partially ruined. I ended up making the decision to through them away. There was no point in keeping them, they were wet, smelly (I am not sure when they got wet or how long they had been wet) and some of the poems that filled both sides of the page could not be read.
As I flipped through the binder and the two notebooks, I found memories I no longer wanted to have an attachment to. I found myself in places I no longer wanted to be in. I found a Jasmine that had been full of brokenness and hurt and heart break. If sadness had a home, it was in my binder of poems. If despair had a home, it was in my notebooks of poems. If hopelessness had a home, it was in my stacks of poems. I decided I did not want to house those anymore.
Poetry has been a way for me to release, it was my way of coping with all that was happening in my life. As time has passed and healing has come, I realized I did not want to keep moving those around with me and I needed to let them go.
I had held onto them for so long because I didn't want to forget. I didn't want to feel I was losing a part of myself. What I have realized is letting go of things makes room for me to receive more. It makes room for air flow and that is what I need. My identity is not tied to what I do, my poems do not hold it. The words written in those poems do not make up the sum of who I am. Jesus does. My identity can be found in Him and Him alone. If throwing away a few hundred old poems makes room for me to receive more of Christ that I can receive more of my identity in Him, then show me the trash can!
Memories are great, they are cool but some should not be held onto any longer. Items that have been given as gifts and pictures hold sentimental value yes but are any of these things preventing freedom in my life?
What might you need to let go of?
What might you have that can be thrown away?
For me it was poems. Not just poems on papers that got wet but also poems in my phone, slide – delete – 136 of the poems in my phone are now gone. I deleted them out of the folders and then deleted them from the "deleted" folder. I want to experience more freedom and in order to, I had to let something go.
I will leave us with a prayer,
Father I thank you for the gift of freedom through your Son Jesus Christ. I thank you for showing me where I am not as free as you would like for me to be. I ask now that you would show me how to let go of things, memories, pictures, ideas, or plans that are stopping me from being 100% free in you. I thank you that your Holy Spirit which is my comforter will be with me during this process of letting go. I thank you that you will be with me and that on the other side is more freedom. When the action of letting go seems too hard and too heavy I thank you that there is nothing too hard for you and that you are my strength. I thank you now for helping me to let go and to become more free. I realize this may take some time but you will be with me through it all, thank you for endurance and perseverance.
I pray all of these things in your Son Jesus' name, amen.