I realized a few days ago that I sometimes want to be sad and when given an opportunity to leave my sadness, I choose to stay.
Why might I want to stay in sadness as opposed to being free from it? The answer I am still trying to figure out. What I do know is that sometimes I want something else more than I want freedom. That could be for a few reasons.
It could be that becoming free means I have to let go in one way or another. It could be that becoming free means I have to face something head on. It could be that becoming free means I have to deny something. It could be that becoming free means I have to acknowledge and address something. And sometimes the thing that comes with freedom is too big for me to carry or to think about, so instead of choosing freedom and taking the way out I decide to keep what I already have.
I felt the Holy Spirit ask me this question: what do you want more than freedom? I had to take a moment to think and see where an answer to that question could be found in my life. In my sitting I was reminded of the day I was sad. I could see where and how I was given a way out, laughter. Yet I actively tried not to laugh as much as I wanted. Given the opportunity to leave, I chose to stay.
Maybe I feared that leaving would make it seem like my sadness was not real or valid?
Whatever the reason, freedom is always greater than being bound. In the thick of things, that may not seem so but as I consider my faith and the cross; I am challenged to accept that as truth. Freedom is better than bondage. I have to allow the Holy Spirit in my heart and into the thing,whatever it may be and let the Lord show me where my desire is that He may show me where His desire is.
His desire is for me to be free and to want freedom more than bondage.
I encourage you to search yourself, your desires and your hearts. Ask the question: what do I want more than freedom? and see what the Lord shows you. As you are made aware, take the next step with me and ask why that thing is more appealing than freedom. As the answers flow lets go to the Lord and speak with Him about these things and start an exchange.
I will leave us with a prayer,
Father I thank you for your Holy Spirit. I thank you for your son Jesus. I thank you for freedom and for your desire for us to be free. I believe that freedom is better than bondage even if it does not seem that way while I am in it. I pray that you would show me what I want more than freedom. If it's sadness, control, comfort, hope, money, status, recognition, despair, safety, acceptance,acknowledgment, love, fear or anything else; I ask for you to make it known to me that I may exchange it for freedom.
I pray and ask in Jesus' name, amen