i thought i lost you.
dropped you somewhere between then and now,
there were no bread crumbs reminding me
of how far we had come. there were no
red strings, marking the path leading to pause.
there was nothing left, nothing aside from fear.
of never being good enough. fear of never
getting it right. fear of losing you forever,
i realized you never belonged to me,
you never will. this i can be certain of
and now i am content with. before me
there was you and after me there will
still be you. i may leave a mark on
someone's paper, or inspire a blank
sheet to be filled but i will never have
ownership of what does not belong
to me or to anyone. i thought i lost
you. i thought i came to the end
what i have found is i only misplaced
you in the thoughts that filled the space
you typically occupy. i thought i lost you
but i never really had you.