I seem to mostly ask "what" questions. Just the other day I found myself in a mood, feeling something but unable to name what I was feeling. So I asked myself what made me feel how I was feeling. It wasn't until I asked "why" that I was able to really make progress in understanding what I was feeling.
When I address the "what" of a situation I am looking at the origin, what led me to feel this way, is essentially the question I am asking that sets me on a mental journey of going back to the conversation or the event that took place to find when I began to feel different. While it is helpful to know the origin it is also helpful to know why I was affected by the "what". I often skip this step in the process of self reflection and I have found this is a huge and important step in figuring things out.
Let me set a scene: I am mad at a friend because of what they said to me and how they said it. I go to them and tell them what they said hurt me and made me upset. After speaking to them it is clear they felt they did no wrong in saying what they said. Then I feel it is pointless to ask for an apology because they feel they have done nothing wrong. After telling them why I was hurt, they gain a better understanding and offer an apology.
When I search for the "why" and really allow myself to find it with the help of the Lord, I am able to communicate to them why I was hurt. This opens up an opportunity to not only know I was hurt but to also understand why I was hurt. Knowing that my "why" is important helps me create an atmosphere of love and healthy communication with those I speak to.
When I think of my walk with Jesus, I am reminded of the friend who asked me "why" I still choose to follow Jesus after all I have been through. Here is a moment of transparency, I lost my mother and youngest brother when I was thirteen. One death was elongated with small moments of hope and the other death was sudden. The question my friend asked me is a question I will always be thankful for. The greatest importance of my "why" is that it makes things personal and provides understanding. My answer to that "why" question is the same today as it was the day my friend asked me, I made a personal connection to a personal God, I knew God before the tragedy and gained a better understanding of my need for God while I was experiencing my tragedy.
I thought about the "why" for Jesus and the "why" for God sending Himself to us, in that I began to realize the importance of God's "why". God sent Himself to us in the form of man, that man is Jesus. He did that because He loves us and knew we needed a savior to keep us in relationship with Him for that is what he desired. God desires for us to be with Him, but if there was no "why" then our relationship with Him would look different, it would be less personal. When asking a child "what" Jesus did for us, they will say he died on the cross and that knowledge is good but I believe a deeper understanding happens when we ask them "why" Jesus died on the cross, and that answer is the more personal answer, because He loves us.
I want to continue to seek the "why" in all that I do. In every action or reaction, in every thought or word spoken, I want my "why" to be known and to continue to drive personal conversation.
I will leave us with a prayer,
Lord I thank You for loving me. I thank You for keeping me and for protecting me from all hurt, harm and danger, seen and unseen. Thank You for allowing me to see that looking past the "what" and finding the "why" is important for making communication personal and for helping me and those around me gain a better understanding. I pray that as I continue to be in community with others, I would not forget to share my "why" and that I would encourage them to find and share their "why". Would I even be reminded of Your "why" when the things in my life seem to make me forget.
I pray and ask all of these things in Jesus' name,