Memory

Memory

It's a shame not enough pictures were taken
Days like today I stumble across your page
A page detailing your life sits before me
For a second I am taken aback
How is there a page for what seems fiction

As I scroll I blink to keep myself sure
That what I am seeing is more than a memory
The first dozen posts are memories
People sharing their love for you
Celebrating a day you stopped celebrating
Yourself eight years ago
Yet they choose to celebrate for you
In your absence they stand with the cake
Balloons in hand and confetti accenting the sky to which you rose

They denote the times spent with you
Thinking back to the good times when
Your smile was the only light they sought
When the words from your lips spewed life
They gave assurance in the unseen
Spoke of promises promising new life
Yours was taken and someone else's was given

Given the chance to trade today for
An hour with you then I'd cave
Go into the dark pit of my mind and bring forth
The memories of thirteen years alongside you
You never missed a beat
The beat of your heart began to slow down
The twinkle in your eye began to fade
Here and now I look at this screen
Smaller than the love you gave
It rests in my hands as I wish I could in yours

This feels like a dream
A horror movie if you will
A time where you go away
Never coming back as I wait
In silence your voice becomes nonexistent
As I scroll your life becomes more real
The plot to the movie is this

You are here in this screen
Your screams I hear no longer
Your tears are shed no longer
Your pain is felt no longer

What about me?

What do I have to say
I say what my mouth cannot through my eyes
My mind still cannot conceive what took place
Eight years ago
My heart rejects anything to confirm it
My tears seem to fall the more I remember
How it used to be
As I scroll through your profile pictures
I am expecting more while finding less
Of the pictures I remember you as
Less of the joy you always had
I wish someone ignored your request
And took more pictures of you

You will forever be in my memory
But I want more
I want you here with me